


You look back at me and suddenly I'm helpless.

by Snap_crackle_spock



Series: You Look At Me and I'm Helpless [2]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Agender Character, Alexander being a total dick, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Fake Dating, Genderfluid Characters, Hamilton - Freeform, John being a cinnamon bun, Lams - Freeform, M/M, Mutual Pining, adorable characters, cursing, gay founding fathers, it's the fake dating trope again, lots of language, that would be Lafayette, that would be martha and eliza, that would be peggy, who doesn't love this trope
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-13
Updated: 2016-02-16
Packaged: 2018-05-13 17:11:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 17,816
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5710453
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Snap_crackle_spock/pseuds/Snap_crackle_spock
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>John had fantasized many times of being able to call Alexander his boyfriend, but now it's unclear just what how Alexander feels about that concept.</p><p>OR</p><p>The fake dating AU that literally nobody asked for.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. You want me to be your what?

**Author's Note:**

> Before we get started, I'd like to apologize for the total cheesiness that will accompany this story. Like, just call it cheddar. But, that aside, I think (read: hope) that you guys are going to like it. Tags will change as the story continues.

“John.”

John Laurens didn’t look up from his laptop.

“John!”

With a grit of his teeth, John continued typing on the keyboard, glaring at the screen as the words materialized. He wasn’t even halfway through and  _ now _ was the time Alexander chose to come back from the dining hall?

“ _ John!” _

He was beginning to lose patients. He’d told him! He’d told Alexander that he had to write an essay for his Social Problems course. He told Alexander that it was due in less than a week and he’d barely started it. And yet, here his roommate was, barging through the door and throwing his coat off and onto his bed. And  _ oh _ there was his hand, wrapping around his left shoulder.

“Joh-”

“What?” John shouted, slamming the laptop shut and standing up to face his smaller roommate. Alexander wasn’t phased in the slightest. If anything, the smaller man just stood taller and puffed his chest out further. John was used to this, there was always a standoff in their room. Both he and Alexander had short tempers and a strong protective instinct for the other.

_ Go to bed, Alexander. _

_ Don’t punch that wall, John. _

_ Put down the pen and get something to eat, Alexander. _

_ Don’t pay attention to what your father said, John. He’s a dick. _

“What could possibly be so important that you felt compelled to interrupt me while I was writing my essay, the essay I told you this very morning that I was going to be busy with for the rest of the day?” John demanded, hands balling into fists at his side. It was a familiar feeling, rage boiling in his stomach over something so small. He wasn’t proud of it, but his temper was shorter than his list of friends, which was laughably small.

“I have a favor to ask of you.” Alexander asked, taking a step closer to John. John’s heartbeat sped up, he could feel Alexander’s warm breath against his skin. And he knew that he was supposed to be angry at the small, caribbean man. He  _ was _ angry at him. But dammit if he also wasn’t very distracted by how pink his lips looked against his tanned skin and how utterly kissable they were, right there in front of him.

“A favor?” John asked, his breath steadying. He was being ridiculous, getting mad at Alexander over something so insignificant. It wasn’t like John didn’t interrupt Alexander’s writing on a regular basis. Granted, it was only when it was well passed midnight and Alexander still had the one light in their small dorm room on because he didn’t have a computer and John wouldn’t let him use his after 10 PM. 

“I need you to be my boyfriend.”

_ Okay hold the  _ fuck  _ up.  _

John was taken aback because  _ God _ , he’d been waiting to hear those words come out of Alexander’s mouth for the longest time but  _ what the hell, Alexander? _ Where had this come from? They hadn’t done anything to provoke such a statement.

“I’m sorry,  _ what _ ?”

“Okay, so you know my foster family, right?” The Washingtons. John had heard multiple stories about them. From what Alexander had told him, they were some pretty great people. They lived farther uptown than the college campus, but all three of their college aged kids attended the same school. They’d taken Alexander and in a year after he’d come to the states when he was 17. Then there was Lafayette, who’d been with the Washington’s for a year before Alexander had come to America. Along with them, they also took care of Eliza, who they’d adopted when she was 14. They also had a newborn, their own child, named Philip who Alexander would not  _ shut up _ about.

“You wouldn’t believe it, John!” He’d gushed after he’d come home from winter break. “I was his first word! We were all gathered around the tree and he was gurggling like a baby would when he goes ‘A-a-a’ and Martha was freaking out! She was like, ‘George what’s he trying to say? Apple? After? Again?’ and Lafayette was no help, they just kept chanting ‘anarchy’ over and over. And then Philip says ‘Alex!’ Can you believe it, John? John? I just told you that my little brother said my name for the first time and you’re  _ reading a book?” _

So, yes. John knew about Alexander’s foster family.

“Yes, Alexander.”

“Well, spring break is coming up,” John was aware of this as well, “and you told me last week about how you cancelled those plans with your family.” That was a partial lie on John’s part. He didn’t so much as cancel as finally tell his family he was gay and his father had told him that it might be best for him to stay on campus for break while his parents ‘try to figure out what to do next.’

“Is there a point you’re trying to get to, Alexander?” This was a problem with Alexander. He tended to ramble. The little man had so much to say, so many things to bring up, that he would constantly get sidetracked from what he was trying to convey in the first place and the conversation would end with an entirely different topic than it had started with.

“Well, George and Martha have been texting me recently. And, while they’d definitely deny it if I asked, they both asked me, no less than six times each, if I was bringing anyone home for break this time. And they’ve been asking me those sort of questions for a while now, and I dunno. I guess I just snapped? I told them that I was taking my boyfriend home for spring break.”

John didn’t have words for the situation. Why did he have to say boyfriend? Why couldn’t he have said girlfriend? He could’ve brought Angelica and spared John the emotional trauma of having to do this for him. Alexander, while known throughout the school, didn’t have enough friends to choose and pick from. Hercules would most likely be going to the Washington’s with Eliza, seeing as they were dating. And Aaron Burr would sooner shoot Hamilton than agree to something like that. Everyone else in the school either didn’t know Alexander, or wanted to fight him.

So John did the only thing he could do.

He blushed and nodded.


	2. Angelica

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John is stressing so he gets some advice from Angelica

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, okay. So I don't know if this was clear enough so I'm stating again, I'm going by the actors in the musical's appearances, not the historically accurate ones. I know some people use historically accurate descriptions so I wanted to clarify. (And also the subject of rape is mentioned for a brief moment, but it's not part of anyone's personal history in the story. Warning for that. If you're uncomfortable with that please skip over the text Alexander sends to John.)

The 24 hours following John’s idiotic agreement to join Alexander’s completely ludicrous plan were a blur. It felt like John was on autopilot, like he was just going through the motions. He would be sitting in class without realizing he’d walked there, talking to someone without comprehending what they were saying, reading something without recalling a single word by the end of the page. 

_ That’s _ how shocked John was with what he’d heard. 

To be fair to Alexander, his plan wasn’t entirely terrible. He seemed to have thought about each and every single detail. By the day before they had to leave for the car ride to the Washington residence, Alexander had seemingly come up with a story for each and every possible question that could be asked by one of the members of his family.

“Angie, I just don’t know what I’ve gotten myself into.” John sighed as he placed his tray of food in front of him and took his seat across from Angelica. He’d met her through Alexander, and they’d become fast friends, bonding over their mutual pining for one Alexander Hamilton. Angelica had long since moved on, meeting someone else when she’d studied abroad in London the prior year, and now maintained a steady relationship with him.

“I’m not going to lie, John. You’re in the middle of the Alexander Hamilton hurricane right now. But you don’t really have any other options than to ride it out.” She stabbed her fork into the salad in front of her, taking a bite before continuing when she saw his helpless expression. “Look, worst case scenario: you and him have to hold hands, maybe he kisses your cheek once. You said that he had everything all planned out, right?” John nodded. “Then just let him do the talking. That’s what happens already anyway.”

“But what about Hercules, Eliza, and Lafayette? What do I tell them when we get back? That we broke up but we’re still friends? Everyone knows that’s bullshit.” 

“Just tell them when you get back on campus. I love Eliza but she can’t keep a secret for the life of her. Wait until school starts again before you tell them, that way it’ll be more believable on their part.”

“Did I ever tell you that you’re a genius?” John sighed, glad to have her in his life. Angelica was always calm under pressure, never one to lose their cool. She was also one of the smartest people he knew, and spoke up for what she believed in almost as much as Alexander did. She was also the president of the woman empowerment group on campus, which visited middle schools, high schools, and some elementaries in the area and talked about some of the things women had done throughout history. She also accompanied the Revolutionary Crew to nearly all the rallies and marches they took part of. 

“It wouldn’t hurt you to say it more often.” She laughed before pausing when her phone began to ring. “Oh, that’s Barker. I’ve got to take this, he’s coming to visit next month and we’re trying to work out all the final details.” John waved as she stood from the table and moved from the dining hall, phone pressed against her ear. 

After a moment John pulled out his own phone, pressing his thumb against the fingerprint scanner, and then typing in the code when it didn’t work. With no games on his phone, he opened his instagram account, liking a picture of Hercules and Eliza that Lafayette had posted (the three were leaving today and arriving bore both Alexander and John.) 

Before he could do much else, the text alert went off, and he opened the app to see a message from Alexander. The message, in true Alexander Hamilton form, was over a paragraph long, with flawless grammar and spelling. John rolled his eyes.  _ English majors. _

**From: Mr. Fight Me**

**John, read this now. Martha called me just now, saying that you and I need to bring a decent suit each. She plans on treating us all to a nice dinner while we’re there. Oh, and make sure to bring a bathing suit. They’ve got this lake out back that’s really great in the Spring. You can swim, can’t you? I’ve only now realized that we’ve never actually been to the pool or beach together, so I don’t really know. If you don’t know how, I suggest you learn. It’s really a valuable skill to have. Oh, and can you bring an extra set of headphones? Hercules keeps texting me, complaining that he forgot his in his dorm room and I only have my one pair.**

**Anyway, don’t forget to finish packing. I’m out until 3 today because of debate club. Can you believe that Jefferson is actually trying to defend rapists? He’s saying stupid shit like ‘if people don’t want to get raped they should dress like it!’ Oh my God, and people say that** **_I’m_ ** **insufferable? You know what, I have to go. This asshole’s got another thing coming if he thinks that he can get away with saying that.**

John smiled at the screen like an idiot. Alexander did this every Saturday, the only time he and Thomas Jefferson could make it to the club at the same time. Every week, there was a different issue. Last week it was slavery (which John didn’t understand why Thomas would try to defend. He’s  _ black _ .) and Alexander had come back to their dorm room angrier than most days because Thomas had ended up giving him a black eye after the club let out.

**To: Mr. Fight Me**

**Don’t do anything stupid.**

**Read at 1:12 PM**

“Well,” Angelica said as she walked back to their table, “I hate to cut these lovely lunches together short, but I’m afraid I’ve got to go. With Eliza out of town I’m the only person left to help Peggy pick out an outfit for tonight is me and they’re positively hopeless with color coordination. Anyway, John, text me if you need anything while you’re gone. And I mean anything. Advice, reassurance, a getaway car, I’ll be there.” With that, she dropped her phone in her peach purse and left the building.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, I hope you enjoyed. Okay, so next chapter we'll get some road trip silliness, and then we finally meet the rest of the Washingtons. Until next time.


	3. Roadtrip

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alexander and John spend some awkward time together in the car on the way to the Washington's.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hmm . . . Where to begin with this chapter? Well, let me just tell you that I'm very tired, but I wanted to get this up so I apologize if it's terrible. I just needed to set some foundation for this story, which I feel is going to be a long one. Anyway, enjoy.

John was cold. Cold and tired. He wasn’t particularly looking forward to spending two and a half hours in a car with Alexander to make the drive to Albany. 

“Are you driving first or am I?” Alexander asked, slamming the trunk of John’s car shut. They were only going to be at the Washington estate for a week, but they’d packed a fair amount. Alexander insisted on packing three different journals, along with a dozen or so pens and pencils. 

“You are. You’re the one making me do this. You’re driving first and paying for gas.” John grumbled and moved to sit in the passenger seat. They’d started the car before putting the bags in the trunk so it had a chance to warm up. Spring Break was supposed to be a warm event, but the weather was still in the 60s. And since both John and Alexander were from places far warmer than New York, they had low tolerance for even that type of weather.

“Okay.” Alexander said as he opened the driver door and entered the car. “Fine then.” 

For the first 15 minutes, there was silence. It was just the two of them sitting, with The Show Goes On by Lupe Fiasco playing from John’s phone, which was plugged into the car.

Honestly, he didn’t know what to say. He was nervous. Of course he was nervous. All he he was nervous that he was going to say something that was too emotional, too raw, and Alexander through his facade. He’d know that John was  _ definitely _ crushing on him and he’d be disgusted with him because it was really weird to be crushing on your roommate. 

And, okay, maybe this was very self indulgent of John. Coming with Alexander, even though Alexander asked for him to, was John letting himself pretend that maybe one day they could come back with Alexander and they wouldn’t be lying about dating, they’d  _ honestly _ be boyfriends. They wouldn’t have to keep their minds on edge for every moment so they could keep their story straight.

Finally, Alexander ended the quiet.

“I’m sorry.”

John looked at him. Alexander never apologized. Even when he really should, even when he knew he was wrong, he’d still argue the point he was trying to make. “You don’t need to be. I know how annoying parents can be about that sort of thing.”

“Your dad.” Alexander nodded. John had told him an edited version of his relationship with Henry Laurens. He’d cut out the part about how his parents hadn’t talked to him since he’d come out to them. He hadn’t told Alexander about how Henry Laurens had once forced John to attend a Church meeting where the preacher had droned on for half an hour about how ‘the gays’ were ruining America. He hadn’t told Alexander that as a kid raised in the Laurens house, he’d been too scared to even attempt to come to terms with his sexuality until the end of junior year.

“You know, one day you won’t worry about him.” Alexander promised before taking a hand off the wheel to give John’s -which was lying in his lap- a reassuring squeeze, which sent John’s heart on a marathon around his body. “Someday all you’ll have to worry about is which of the thousand of boys that are throwing themselves at you you’re going to end up with.”

_ You, goddamnit. _ John wanted to say.  _ I want you to be throwing yourself at me so that I could pick you and we could get married and move to somewhere far far away so that we can just be us. _

“Yeah,” John nodded, giving a lazy smile instead of professing his love, “because so many guys are just flinging themselves into my arms.”

“I don’t understand why they wouldn’t!” Alexander laughed, placing both hands back on the wheel, much to John’s disappointment. “I mean, you’ve got it all. You’ve got better hair than most people on campus, your smile is a delight, you’re freckles are  _ adorable _ -”

“Alexander,” John feigned disappointment, “is this your way of telling me that the only thing that I bring to this relationship is looks? I’m surprised at you! Of all people, you should know the burden of people not being able to see your beautiful head of hair.”

Alexander gave a laugh, which John was eternally grateful for. If they were going to spend the next week together, pretending to be dating, John didn’t want it to be tense and awkward. He, at the very least, wanted it to change nothing between them.

“This isn’t going to be weird, right?” He asked Alexander “I mean, I know it’s going to be weird when we get there. The next week is going to be super weird. But when we get back? I mean, nothing’s changing, right?”

Alexander turned his head to stare directly at John (John’s heart sped up because that  _ could not _ be safe.) “God, I hope not. If things changed between you and me because of this, I wouldn’t know what to do. I love you, John.” His eyes widened, as if he just realized what he’d said. “I mean, in a platonic way. As I love Hercules and Lafayette. I love you all. You’re my family, you know.” With that, he turned back to face the road, cheeks blazing red.

John shifted in his seat, eyes focusing outside the car and away from Alexander. What was he supposed to take away from  _ that _ ? Why was Alexander blushing? Was it because he’d thought that John was taking it the wrong way? Was he so quick to get his explanation out because he knew John was head over heels for him and he just didn’t feel the same way and wanted to clarify?

There was a small part of John that wondered . . . Maybe? Maybe Alexander felt the same way. Maybe Alexander was just nervous he was. John glanced at Alexander and erased the thought from his mind. This was Alexander Hamilton. The beautiful, intelligent, wonderful Alexander Hamilton. The man who deserved the moon and sky but had been handed so little in life. He definitely deserved better than John. John Laurens who was still coming to terms with himself, who still wanted his father’s approval more than almost anything, who hadn’t even dated a boy ever. Alexander could do better.

John sat there, considering this. The silence had returned, both men lost in their own thoughts. No matter what Alexander had said, John could already feel the air between them growing thinner. It might have just been their nerves buzzing, and John hoped that was all it was. He couldn’t even fathom a life without Alexander Hamilton. 

It wasn’t until about half an hour from the Washington’s home when Alexander started up a conversation again. 

“If you’re mad at me would you just say it already?” Oh no, that wasn’t what John wanted him to say. That wasn’t how John felt at all. He didn’t want Alexander to think he was  _ angry _ for saying that. He just didn’t know how to respond.

“I couldn’t be angry at you.” He mumbled to himself, knowing full well that Alexander could hear him perfectly. “I just didn’t know how to respond to that. It’s not like I could be mad at you for saying that. You fuck up your sentences all the time.”

“I do not.” Alexander pouted. “I speak more eloquently than half of my teachers. You’re just saying that because you’re jealous of my public speaking skills.” 

As he said this, he pulled off the highway. The Washington’s lived a east of Albany, where the hills rolled and it looked like farm land. It reminded John of South Carolina. Of the trips he and his family would take on the weekends to the beach, which was always ended up being a sunny day. When the water was warm and John and his mother would splash around in the tide for hours as his father watched his siblings waddle around in the shallower waters. The Laurens’ visited their beach house there for a week every summer. 

John remembered clearly sneaking out of the bright blue building at night, when his parents were asleep, and joining the group of teens whose parents also had the idea to stay at the beach for a week. They’d sit around a bonfire for hours, roasting whatever they managed to grab from the vacation homes. John had his first kiss there. A boy named James who had been a year older than him and went to a different high school. It was a wonderful experience, so naturally the Laurens family had packed up and left the day after that year.

“Is that your home?” John asked, looking awestruck at the large structure in front of them. There was still a twisting driveway that stretched for at least another half mile, but the home was clearly visible. It was bigger than John’s had been, which was a feat in itself. The Washington’s home was gigantic, with red bricks and white columns offering a sophisticated, welcoming feeling. There were fenced in areas around them, with cows and horses and other animals roaming the grounds. It was absolutely gorgeous.

“Yep,” Alexander said as they pulled into the driveway, “home sweet home.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, I hope you enjoyed. In the next chapter, we'll get to meet the Washington's (most of which you already know.)


	4. The Washingtons

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John is introduced to (and reunited with some of) the Washington family.
> 
> (Warning for George being a total dad type of dad.)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we go! The chapter where we finally get to meet the rest of the cast (that you'll be stuck with until this is done)

“I can’t believe I ever thought my house was big.” John gaped as he and Alexander made their way through the gigantic set of front doors, luggage in tow behind them. “I mean, what are your parents? Royalty?” How had Alexander settled for a crappy little dorm room after living in this palace for any length of time?

“Royalty? No,” Alexander laughed, “George’s great great grandfather was this big-shot general in some war, and he inherited all this money and this gorgeous place.”

“Alexander?” A female’s voice called from one of the connecting rooms. John looked up to see a kind woman walking in. She looked like Alexander, even though John knew they weren’t related. Their eyes were the same shade of brown and both had a slight twinkle in them. Her hair, while having a few gray streaks in it, was a dark brown color that matched Alexander’s. Her face was softer, too. There were smile lines, and her skin was tanned from outdoor work. She had a pair of heavy gloves on along with dirt-caked jeans and a shovel in hand. “Alexander! Oh I thought I heard your voice!” She ran and pulled him into a hug, face breaking into one of the biggest smiles John had ever seen.

“Mom,” He grinned and hugged her back, dropping his black duffel bag to use both arms to engulf her. “It’s been too long since I’ve been home. I hardly recognized it, now that you guys finished the walls.”

“You know that you’re always welcome to visit George and I any time you’ve got a long weekend.” She pulled away, the dirt on her gloves rubbed on his t-shirt a little bit. Somehow, he made it look wonderful, as if every brown smudge had been meticulously placed and perfected.

“I know, mom, I know.” He laughed and took a step back to stand next to John. “So this is the guy I was telling you over the phone the other day, John.” He gestured, as if to present John to Martha. Honestly, John had never been more nervous in his life. Martha, who’d been nothing but smiles a moment ago, was squinting at him, looking him up and down as if she were trying to mentally take him apart.

“John,” she tested the name, as if she were afraid it was going to bite her, “Alexander’s mentioned you before, of course. Every time he comes home he always has a new story to tell about you two. Always about some protest or rally the two of you attended together.” She took a step closer to him. Even at a full head shorter than him, she was still intimidating and John felt his heartbeat speed up. “So tell me, John, are you good for my baby? Because if you’re not you’ll be out of this house so quickly-”

“ _Mom!”_ Alexander shouted, cheeks going red, “John, I’m sorry.” He looked at Martha. “Mom what are you thinking? You’re going to scare him off before he even has a chance to get settled.”

“No, Alexander,” John smiled, “I understand.” And he did. Martha just wanted nothing more than the best for Alexander, a common goal between him and her. “Mrs. Washington, I can assure you, I’m good for your son. I mean, somebody has to force him to sleep and eat at some point, and so far I’m the only one on the campus who seems to have the power.”

Martha seemed satisfied with the answer, and reverted to her previous happy self. “Well that’s splendid! He does that all the time here, too. Do you know that he once had the audacity to bring one of his papers to the dinner table? George took it from him for the night, of course. Speaking of George, why don’t you two come into the kitchen and you can meet him?"

John cast a glance to Alexander, who shrugged and began following his mother. They walked through the archway she’d came through, which John realized lead to a beautiful kitchen. The floor was black and white tile, reminding John of an old 70’s movie. It was huge, too, with an island in the middle of it that had a bowl filled with fresh fruits next in the center. And, hopping between pots on the stove and a pile of dough on the island, was George Washington. He was wearing one of those aprons, the cheesy type that said ‘kiss the cook’ in bold letters. In the bottom corner, there were three signatures, Lafayette’s, Eliza’s, and Alexander’s. John assumed it was a father’s day present.

Looking at the man in the dorky apron, John decided then and there that George Washington probably could’ve killed a man if the whim ever hit him. Even in the dorky looking apron, with Ariana goddamn Grande coming from a speaker in the corner of the room, John was internally freaking out.

“Alexander?” He said, looking up from the bowl of whatever he was stirring on the stove, “We were beginning to worry that you weren’t going to make it.” He turned off the stove, turning to face Alexander completely, placing a hand on each on his shoulders. “I trust that you’re doing well in your classes?” He asked, a serious look in his eyes.

“Obviously,” Alexander shrugged, “Although it doesn’t help that Lee is teaching my American Government class.”

“They’re still letting that old racist teach there?”

Upon seeing John’s confusion, Alexander twisted out of George’s grip, “He used to teach there. That was actually where he met Martha.”

“John, is it?” Washington turned and John could feel the blood drain out of his face. “I’ve heard from Alexander that you’re quite the activist. If I remember correctly, you were the one who dragged my boy into last month’s mess. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a bar brawl ever be started about the need of gender neutral bathrooms in high schools.”

“With all due respect, sir, I’m a very big supporter of the LGBT+ community. It’s something that I’m willing to fight for. I feel that if we don’t stand for issues, we’re no better than the people who stand against those issues.” John snapped his mouth shut, thinking that perhaps he’d said too much. His parents had told him countless times that he came off too strong to people he’d never met before. He had a tendency to set all his beliefs in front of him, right off the bat.

Instead of being taken aback, or even put off in the slightest, George Washington laughed. “I’m glad our Alexander has found someone with similar principles. It’s not every day you find someone so. . . brash.” He smirked at Alexander, and John couldn’t help doing the same. It was no wonder Alexander was such a good person, he was raised by the best of the best.

“Alex!” John recognized that voice. That was the voice of Eliza. He’d been dreading this moment. Where Eliza goes, Hercules usually followed. And it would be a cold day in hell before Lafayette let the two of them exclude him from the club. So now not only were he and Alexander tasked with the difficulty of pretending to be boyfriends, they also had to bullshit their way into making those three believe it. The voices sounded like they came from above, so John assumed they were coming from a second story. “Alexander we’ve been trying to figure out who you were bringing home with you because we never did get a name you just you were bringing some gu- _John_?”

The three made their way into the kitchen, Eliza with a tight grip on one of Hercules’ hand, and Lafayette behind them. Each and every one of them had the same look on their face, though. Every eye was wide open and every mouth was hanging open. John had never been more embarrassed in his life. He shouldn’t’ve listened to Angelica. He and Alexander should’ve told the three of them!

“John?” Lafayette was the first to begin speaking again, “What are you doing ‘ere? I thought Alexander was bringing ‘is boyfriend” Their french accent was still thick. They’d only come to America last year. Technically they weren't even the Washington’s adopted child. He was part of the exchange student program their college had. The person their college had traded for him was George Frederick III. Personally, John felt no loss. Anyway, the Washingtons were the first to volunteer their home for Lafayette, and insisted on being referred to by them as their ‘family.’

“I did.” Alexander said, reaching his hand out to grab John’s. The action sent a wild swarm of something through John’s stomach. Butterflies weren’t the correct analogy, because that would imply that it was a gentle feeling. It wasn’t. It was more like a hive of wasps desperately buzzing around inside him. But in the best possible way. Because, while it was uncomfortable, John would never have Alexander stop if he could help it.

All three of them just looked at Alexander and John with the most perplexed looks on their face, as if they just couldn’t comprehend the idea of Alexander and John being boyfriends. John almost found it a little bit offending. Personally, he thought he and Alexander were a completely believable couple. They lived in the same room, so it could easily be kept a secret; they both had similar, if not the same, views on every topic; and it was no secret that Alexander was a proud bisexual man. John wasn’t quite as out and proud, but his closest friends knew, and they were all in the room.

“Alexander, show John where you and him will be staying for the week, would you?” Martha asked, oblivious to the tense air in the room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay! As always, I hope you enjoyed. Anyway, it's snowing a shit-ton where I live (I only had school one day this week so far) so I'll hopefully get the next chapter up soon. Not tomorrow or the day after, unfortunately (I'm going to BroadwayCon!!!)


	5. Eavesdropping

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alexander and John move into their room for the week before having a little movie time, which leads to some impromptu eavesdropping.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, this is up sooner than I thought it would be. (Mostly because I was supposed to be in New York for BroadwayCon but they cancelled my flights, so no HamilCast seeing :( .) Anyway, I just thought this would be a cute little chapter to have before any super plot advances.

Forget the house, the  _ room _ was twice the size of their dorm room. The window was floor to ceiling, though it was on the second floor so people looking inside from that was hardly a fear. The room had a personal bathroom, which John was grateful for. After spending the entirety of college thus far sharing a bathroom with around 20 other people, he thought he’d never have this luxury again. The walls had bookshelves pressed against them, though it didn’t look like there were many actual books on the shelves. Instead, there were countless journals, crammed together and overflowing. On the wall spaces not covered by shelves, posters were hung. Pictures of people marching with ‘black lives matter’ signs or just the colors of the bisexual flag were proudly displayed.

“Was this your room?” John asked Alexander, who was sheepishly standing by the door frame. His bags, along with John’s were by his feet. 

“Yeah.” He mumbled. “Um, I guess you could take one of the guest rooms. I mean, I know there’s only one bed so if that’s weird. Although it’s pretty big so we could probably just sleep on opposite sides. It’d probably be more space in the dorm room. But if you’re not cool with that, that’s totally fine. I’m not going to force you to do anything. I’m just saying that it’d look a little suspicious if you didn’t stay in here. I’m sure they’d understand, though-”

“Alexander!” John half yelled, the only way his voice could reach over Alexander’s, who was getting louder and louder with each sentence. “Look, it’s totally fine. It’s not like we haven’t done this sort of thing before.” Angelica had hosted a large ‘sleepover’ at her, Peggy, and Eliza -an honorary Schuyler- ‘s apartment to celebrate Peggy’s birthday. Hercules and Eliza had taken the recliner, Angelica along with Lafayette and Peggy had made a nest out of pillows and blankets on the floor, and Alexander and John had taken over the couch with both facing each other so their heads were on opposite sides. John had pretended that he wasn’t freaking out at the close proximity. 

“Okay.” Alexander nodded and took a deep breath. “Okay.”

* * *

 

“Laurens!” Hercules shouted, jogging to catch up with John. He was in the hallway on the bottom floor. He and Alexander had decided to watch a movie to pass the time in the Washington’s in-home theater (also gigantic and amazing) and John had left to make some more popcorn. “What the fuck, man?”

John was panicking. He and Alexander hadn’t prepared for this. They’d come up with a game plan if they were confronted together, but this was a complete curve ball. When was it that they’d decided they started dating? February? December? He wasn’t ready. Alexander was supposed to be there to cover John’s ass if he forgot something-

“Jesus, like, I knew that you two were mentally stripping each other every time other time you were in the same room but I would think that you’d at least have the decency to tell Lafayette, Eliza, and me. I understand if you didn’t want it to be a big thing but we’re your  _ friends _ , man. I feel like that gives us at least some right to know what’s happening between you two.”

“W- What?” Was all John could sputter out. 

“You and Alexander. I mean, when did this start? You’ve been looking at him like he’d hung the moon and stars since since you first met him.”

“You  _ knew? _ ” John whined. He’d thought he’d been so subtle, so careful. If Hercules had noticed, then surely Eliza had, too. And Lafayette and-

“Did I know?” Hercules laughed, “Oh my God, James fucking Madison knew! What, did you think you were being subtle or something? I just thought it was mutual pining. Alexander’s so in-your-face I would’ve thought that he would’ve showed it off the minute you two made it official.”

John was positive he was blushing harshly. Of course he wasn’t subtle. At least he could honestly say he did nothing half-assed, pining included. 

“Anyway, I guess I just wanted to say that I’m happy for you guys.” He clapped John on the shoulder, which John flinched at. He was fairly muscular, sure, but he wasn’t Hercules Mulligan level muscular. The guy looked like he could take on a bulldozer and win without so much as breaking a sweat. “But, just for future reference, tell us next time something like that happens. Lafayette’s literally already picked out their Brides person-of-honor dress.”

With that, Hercules turned and walked to the kitchen, where John had just left. John was shaken. Had people really realized how helpless he’d been? Oh God, had  _ Alexander _ noticed? Surely not. No, he would’ve said something if that were the case. Alexander didn’t have a brain to mouth filter. If he had noticed something, he would’ve said so. Right?

John turned the thought over and over in his mind, contemplating how probable it would be to have Alexander keep his mouth shut about something, when he reached the in home cinema and heard two voices.

“-just don’t understand why you don’t just tell him.” It was Eliza. She must’ve come in while Hercules was talking to John. He knew he shouldn’t eavesdrop. It was definitely wrong, and if John had ever learned that someone had listened to one of his conversations without his personal knowledge he would be furious. But . . . Something kept him standing right next to the doorframe, just out of the view of anyone inside the room.

“It’s just not that easy, Liza.” Alexander’s voice came. What were they talking about? What wasn’t easy? Were they talking about John? Was it conceited of him to assume that he was what they were discussing?

“It really is, though!” She protested, John could hear the frustration in her voice. “Look, Alexander, you complain to me all the time about Aaron Burr. And every single time you bring him up it’s always the same thing. ‘You wouldn’t believe what happened in my Criminal Law class today, Eliza! Aaron Burr and his stupid talk-less-smile-more method! What does he think he’s going to achieve if he just sits on his ass and waits for everything to be handed to him?’ Well, you know what Alexander? That is precisely what you’ve been doing ever since you got here. Sitting on your ass and waiting for something to be given to you. 

Do you know how many times you’ve told me that you’ve had to work for almost everything you’ve gotten? Well here you are, going against all of that! It’s not even the scariest thing you’ve ever done! It’s just a handful of words! All you have to do is look at him and say you like him! I’ve seen you go against every single professor we share multiple times, and you’re scared of  _ that? _ Come on, Alex. This is your shot. Don’t throw it away.”

John’s heart was racing. Alexander liked someone? Alexander liked some guy? Why hadn’t he mentioned it to John before? He’d thought that they were close enough to warrant the sharing of gossip. He sure as hell had told him when he had that thing for Maria Reynolds, may that woman never be a complication in their lives again. James, her actual boyfriend, had come for Alexander while he and John were just lounging in their dorm room and nearly sent Alexander to the hospital. Not to mention all the shit that Thomas Jefferson had thrown at him for that fling during debate club meetings when the word had begun to get around.

Instead of torturing himself further by finding out who Alexander was crushing on, John chose to barge into the room. Sure enough, Eliza was sitting in the seat John had been occupying. When she saw him, she jumped up, an award winning smile on her face. She was dressed in a mint colored summer dress, a common color in her closet. 

“John!” She giggled and walked up to take a handful of popcorn. “I was just about to leave. Besides, I trust that you and Alexander would want some alone time. I know that Hercules and I cherish it every time we visit. While I love my parents, they’re very nosy. Anyway, I’ll leave you to it! Don’t forget that dinner’s promptly at six. Dad, Hercules, and I are making your favorite, Alexander! And don’t forget that we’ve got game night, tonight.” 

“George and Martha have this thing about family time.” Alexander shrugged. “Usually we play stupid things like pictionary or truth or dare. Lafayette told me they’re organizing a bonfire with Martha for tomorrow night.”

“Well, it’s not like I’m going to run away before then.” John smiled and reclaimed his seat next to Alexander. 

Eliza giggled again before making her way to the door, casting one last glance at Alexander before leaving. 

“So,” Alexander asked and shifted a bit closer to John, “where were we?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, I hope that you enjoyed the chapter. It's pretty damn blizzard-y where I live right now, so I won't be getting out much (not that I do much anyway) so I'll probably be working on this a lot. Have a happy, safe, weekend guys!


	6. Dinner

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dinner with the Washington's is something else.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again! (I realize that this is, like, the third day in a row I've updated. I am on a roll.) Anyway I was cold and bored so here's this! I'm bringing in the final two members of the Washington family, both of whom you would most likely recognize. 
> 
> (Also oh my god, guys I listened to 21 Chump Street at, like, one in the morning last night and totally cried it's beautiful make sure to give it a listen. Also: Anthony Ramos proved once again that he can only play precious characters.)

Dinner at the Washington’s was something else. At John’s home in South Carolina, Henry Laurens would pay a (measly) price to have the home staffed with a chef, a live-in nanny for the younger children, and a maid. The cook wasn’t half bad, but they’d only ever cooked just enough for every night. That wasn’t the case with the Washington’s.

George, Hercules, and Eliza had outdone themselves. Plates upon plates were set up on the table, from every single culture John could imagine. Mashed potatoes were next to Thai food. There was pasta set up next to the salad. And, in the very center of the table was-

“ _ Jerk chicken. _ ” John looked over at Alexander, whose mouth was practically watering. John had known Alexander since the beginning of college, and if there’s one thing he was best at (besides writing) it was  _ eating _ . “John, you don’t understand how much I love jerk chicken.”

“It’s a Caribbean recipe, right?” John asked. Alexander nodded. He knew that Alexander hailed from St. Croix. So the food before him, which was far from what they served in the cafeteria on campus, must’ve been like heaven.

John took a seat next to Alexander, with Lafayette sitting on the other side of him. There were two more people at the table, people John hadn’t seen yet. Both of them were younger, one looked around middle school age and the other couldn’t be older than five. 

“Who are they?” John whispered to Alexander. One was a boy -the five year old- with light skin and brown hair and, so far, a perpetual pout on his face. The girl was sitting directly across from John and had curly black hair, that reminded John of Angelica. 

“Samuel and Theodosia.” Alexander pointed to each individually. Theodosia looked up from the book she had propped on the table to wave and Samuel huffed. “Theo, make sure to put that down before dad comes down. He won’t give it back until tomorrow.”

“I know,” She said, returning to her book, “but you’re underestimating me, Alexander. I’ve learned a few tricks while you guys were off frolicking in the city or whatever it is you guys actually do at college.”

“I want ice cream!” Samuel demanded, banging one of his fists on the wood table. 

“Well if you keep shouting you’re never going to get any.” Eliza said, coming up behind the five year old and hugging him. His mood immediately shifted, a smile spreading across his face to reveal two missing teeth. “Eliza! Where’s Herles?”

“You’re forgetting a few letters, little guy.” Hercules laughed as he picked up the small child out of the chair and hoisted him on to his hip. “Now, are you being difficult at the table? If you keep yelling Eliza and I aren’t going to read you a bedtime story.”

“I don’t want you to read!” Samuel protested. “You and Elzy read to me last night! I want Alexander! He makes it funny!” John looked at Alexander, who was already stacking food onto his plate.

“One time I was reading him Cinderella and I explained why that was the stupidest way to figure out who the ‘mystery girl at the ball’ was. I mean, there was no way that she was the only girl to have that size foot. It’s stupid and ridiculous.”

John laughed. As if speaking out on a college campus wasn’t enough, Alexander was pushing his ideologies onto a five year old. John wasn’t sure if that was cute or not. (He later decided that it definitely was very cute.) 

“Alex reads to me tonight!” Samuel declared with his adorable little smile. That was when George and Martha walked into the room. There was a thud across the table and John looked to see Theodosia sitting there, suddenly bookless. 

“Hercules, if you’d kindly put Samuel down, we’re going to begin eating.” He looked at Alexander, “Though it seems that some people have started without us,  _ Alexander. _ ”

John always hated dinner at other people’s houses. He never knew what they did. In the Laurens house, it was mandatory to pray before a meal, but he’d visited other people with other rituals and it always freaked him out because  _ how was he supposed to know? _ So he just sat there, hands folded in his lap, while George and Martha took their seats.

“Mom!” Samuel whispered, not at all subtly, “who’s that sitting next to Alex?” 

Theodosia arched an eyebrow, asking the question for herself too, without saying a word. John suddenly felt like everyone’s eyes were on him, which was ridiculous because Alexander was once again tearing into his jerk chicken and Lafayette was facing away, passing a plate of rolls to George.

“My apologies,” John said mumbled, his foot tapping on the floor, “I’m John. I’m, uh, I’m Alexander’s boyfriend.” Theodosia tilted her head and pursed her lips, as if she was examining John.  _ God, _ did she remind him of Angelica, they had the same ‘I’m-totally-judging-you-right-now-and-I-don’t-care-that-you-know’ face.

“Alex has a boyfriend! Alex has a boyfriend!” Samuel sang in the usual off-key-ness of a five year old. He was clapping his hands as if he’d just won the game of ‘who’s the stranger’ and figuring it out was the prize.

“When did that start, Alexander?” Theodosia asked, pecking at the salad that was on her plate. “I thought that I specifically asked you to text me whenever something major happened.”

“Oui, Alexander.” Lafayette huffed, dropping their fork on the plate. “You and John ‘aven’t bothered to tell any of us. ‘ercules asked John earlier the very same question, yet got no direct answer. So when did you and John begin dating?”

Under the table, John stepped on Alexander’s foot, signalling him to answer the question. 

“Yes, well you see John and I have clearly known each other for a very long time. We began dating shortly after winter break, and decided that it was best to have it not be public. As you, Eliza, and Hercules know, Lafayette, John doesn’t have the best situation at home and has yet to come out to his parents about being gay.” John felt a fresh wave of guilt yet again for lying to Alexander about that. “So we decided, as not to out him to anyone his parents do know on campus, we’d keep it between us. And, as for why we didn’t tell you guys, we didn’t want to make it weird. We all know how awkward it is when Hercules and Eliza become one of  _ those _ couples during lunch.”

“I need to find friends who aren’t dating my other friends.” Lafayette sighed, plunging their fork into the shepard’s pie on their plate. “Seriously, it’s just me, Angelica, and Peggy. I’m all alone ‘ere! I’ll be forced to endure your stupid couple moments all week!” For effect, they lifted their hand to their forehead. 

“It’s okay, Laf!” Samuel beamed, mashed potatoes still in his mouth, “you can come into my room and we can play airplanes!”

“I would like that very much, mon petit lion.” 

The dinner continued nicely, with only minimal interrogation from the rest of Alexander’s family. Everyone seemed to fully believe that they were a couple. Well, John at least  _ thought  _ everyone seemed to be buying it. Eliza kept sending Alexander looks from down the table, looks that John couldn’t decipher. They didn’t look skeptical they almost looked . . . insistent. On what, John didn’t know. Did it have something to do with whatever guy the two of them had been talking about in the movie room? Did Alexander tell Eliza that they weren’t really dating? John made a mental note to call Angelica tonight and ask for some advice. 

But, over all, things were going smoothly. The food was delicious. After the main course, Samuel got his wish and ice cream was presented for desert. Ice cream that Eliza and Hercules had apparently made themselves, too. It was absolutely perfect, with Alexander’s hand resting on John’s knee (John knew it was for the act, but told himself otherwise.) The dinner was a wonderful success . . . Until-

“Hey, you know what’s weird?” Theodosia asked from her seat across from John. Over the course of the meal he had learned that she was: planning on being a scientist, had read every book in her personal library at least twice, loved editing Alexander’s papers when he was home, was on her school’s all-female football team, and spoke her mind nearly as often as Alexander did.

“What is it, dear?” Martha asked, picking up the last of the dinner plates from the table with George. John had offered to take his own dishes, but she insisted that he was a guest and he shouldn’t have to do the work. 

“Alexander and John haven’t kissed at all.” John mentally cursed. She was speaking so fast that he couldn’t even interject get a word in. “I mean, I’ve been watching them all night and so far all the PDA they’ve done was Alex putting his hand on John’s knee. Meanwhile Hercules and Eliza are over there, being their adorable selves, while sharing a kiss every so often. Now, I’m all for personal space, but I know Alexander. And Alexander is  _ not. _ So why haven’t you two kissed.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Boomshakalaka. Hmmmm I WONDER what's going to happen next chapter? Anyway, how cute were Theodosia and Samuel? I love the way they're turning out. (Theodosia will always be my little nerd, and Samuel Seabury was basically a five year old in the show so not much changed. It would've been King George but we already mentioned him so welp. As always, I hope you enjoyed and I'll probably get the next chapter up tomorrow-ish.


	7. The Kiss

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A kiss happens and John panics.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so this isn't my strongest chapter. But I wanted to get something up tonight, so here it is. I know it's a little angsty, but I promise there'll be so much fluff in the next chapter it makes up for it.

Damnit. 

Damnitdamnitfuckingdamnit.

He looked over pleadingly to Alexander who was staring directly at Theodosia. And there was that look in his eyes. The look John saw in his eyes every single times he was about to launch into an argument. The look that told whoever had challenged that  _ not only am I going to prove that’s wrong but another thing…  _

Alexander and his goddamn pride would sooner get shot in the stomach then back down from a challenge. Granted, it was amazing to watch him play truth or dare for that very reason, but that was besides the point. Because John knew where this was going. Alexander wasn’t going to back down and John couldn’t bullshit their way out of it because Eliza, Hercules, and Lafayette were sitting next to them. 

He couldn’t just say ‘yeah, no. We’re not really into the whole PDA thing’ because Alexander had slept with almost half of the population of their college. (Combined with Hercules and Lafayette, the three of them had a sex story to tell about quite nearly every single student.) And every single time he slept with someone new, the Revolutionary Crew was  _ always _ the first to find out in excruciating detail. There was no way any of them were going to believe that Alexander didn’t want to do any PDA after he once sent a picture of a guy kissing his neck and a girl kissing his cheek (all of them completely naked) to Aaron Burr because he said ‘bisexuality wasn’t a real concept.’

So there was, without a doubt, no other way to get out of kissing Alexander at this point unless either a meteor crashed and destroyed the planet  _ this second _ or someone at the table dropped dead. Neither of which happened, unfortunately for John. 

He’d been mentally preparing himself for something subtle, like Alexander taking his hand at some point in the week. But  _ this _ was not something he was ready for. They’d kiss, and Alexander would somehow know that John had been waiting for that moment since they’d first met.  _ God, _ he wished Angelica was there. She would’ve known what to do. She would know just what to say to make him calm down. 

“Theodosia!” Martha Washington exclaimed, pulling John back to reality. How long had he been sitting there, thinking? Had he missed the window to do something before it got awkward? Were people staring? 

“I’m just stating the facts.” She shrugged and ate a spoonful of ice cream. But there was a little smirk that she sent to Alexander, and then to Eliza. The latter was suppressing a smile, as if she was in on some massive joke. Alexander was quite the opposite, teeth grit and eyes squinted. He looked just about ready to kill someone. 

“I agree with Theo.” Lafayette nodded their approval, leaning back in their seat with a mischievous glint in their eyes. “I think that our dearest Alexander is far too forward with his personality to not have kissed John once. Something is -’ow you say?- not adding up.”

“Not adding up!” Samuel parroted happily, though John was positive he didn’t even have a clue as to what was going on in the room. 

“You want a public display of affection?” Alexander barked, always quick to anger, “here!” And, with that statement, Alexander grabbed John’s shirt and pulled him in for a kiss. 

John had been kissed before (once, albeit) and it was nothing like this. That time, it was soft, scared, and hidden underneath the bleachers of the school gym to ensure nobody would see them. John had been paranoid for the following week that his father would confront him, somehow knowing what he’d done.

This wasn’t like that at all.

John had imagined kissing Alexander so many times. He always thought that it would be gentle, careful, tender. He pictured Alexander holding his neck and him  _ finally  _ getting to knot his hands in Alexander’s hair. This kiss was everything John’s fantasies weren’t. This was  _ furious, _ there was no other way to describe it. It was like something had been boiling inside Alexander for the longest time and was finally being set loose. John didn’t even have time to react, he was to shocked by the fact that  _ holy shit Alexander Hamilton just kissed me on the mouth. _

Way too soon, Alexander pulled away. There was a look in his eyes, something that wasn’t wild but pretty damn close. It was the look he got every time he completed a ridiculous dare, or what he got at every single one of the debate’s he went to. It wasn’t wild, it was  _ passionate. _

John realized a little sooner than what would’ve been awkward that he was gawking. His mouth was on the floor, looking at Alexander who was glaring at Theodosia who was smirking at Eliza who just looked really happy.

_ Why is Eliza smiling like she just won the lottery? _

“Mon Dieu.” Lafayette whispered, the only person to make a noise so far, asides from Samuel who was still happily eating his ice cream. 

John wanted to get up. He wanted to leave the table and run to the room he and Alexander were sharing and lock the door and call Angelica. She would know what to do. At the very least, she’d be here as soon as she could and be his getaway driver like she promised. 

He couldn’t believe that just happened. Fireworks were going off in his brain and his mind just kept replaying the memory over and over. Alexander Hamilton had just kissed him. Alexander had just kissed him  _ to prove a point to his little sister. _ Alexander did a lot of crazy things if it meant winning an argument. Was this just something he needed to do to justify himself. Or . . .  Or maybe he wanted to? 

John didn’t let himself explore the thought. He didn’t let himself toy with the idea that maybe Alexander Hamilton had just been looking for the perfect opportunity to kiss John. That Alexander had been fantasizing about it just as much as John had. He didn’t let himself entertain the idea at all.

“George, dear, why don’t we we take Samuel upstairs for the night?” Martha asked timidly, though it didn’t seem much like a question at all. With a curt nod, George followed his wife, who picked up Samuel. The five year old started complaining after he was out of sight about Eliza reading to him, and John couldn’t hear the response the couple gave.

“Theo, why don’t you go upstairs, too?” Hercules suggested, still sounding a little shell shocked from what just happened.

“I want to see how this pans ou-”

“Go upstairs, Theodosia.” Eliza commented. “I promise I’ll tell you everything later.”

And suddenly it was just the four of them. John didn’t know what to say. They knew, didn’t they? They knew that he and Alexander were full of shit and it was because of that kiss. They knew that he and Alexander had never kissed before and it was painfully obvious because John hadn’t reacted at all. It was all his fault-

“I thought you guys were kidding.” Hercules laughed. “I mean, I hoped you weren’t but  _ damn _ I take it all back. Lafayette and I had bets on whether or not you two were actually legit. Thanks to you two, I now owe them a twenty.”

“I thought you two were faking it, too.” Lafayette grinned. “I thought that it was some elaborate hoax. But damn us all to hell if that wasn’t confirmation.” They slapped John on the back. 

“If you’ll excuse me.” John pushed back from the table, unsure how to proceed, he rushed to the bathroom and pulled out his phone, dialing Angelica’s number.

“John? What’s up? Is something wrong?” Her voice was like a weight lifting off his chest. 

“ _ Yes,  _ Angie. Everything’s wrong. I don’t know what to do because I’m scared if I keep this up I’m just going to be buried until I’m in too deep and we’re going to get back to campus and I’m just never going to be satisfied again.”

“Woah, John, take a breath. Why don’t you start by telling me what happened?”

John inhaled deeply. “Alexander kissed me.”  

There was the sound of something crashing on the other end of the line, maybe a plate? “Did you just say he  _ kissed  _ you? As in on the mouth? Isn’t this only, like, your first night there? That’s great, John! I mean, the goal is for you two to start dating by the end of this whole debacle, right? Well this  _ has _ to be a step in the right direction.”

“You don’t understand, Angie!” John complained, trying to keep his voice down, “now Hercules, Lafayette, and Eliza all think that we’re dating-”

“Which is exactly what you wanted.”

John tried to form an argument against her. It was true, after all. The reason he and Alexander had started this whole charade in the first place was to fool Alexander’s family into thinking he had a boyfriend. Still, though, John was worried. Alexander hadn’t said anything since they kissed. Maybe he’d talk about it when they were in their room. That wouldn’t be weird, right?

“Okay.” John took a deep breath. “You’re right. I’m being paranoid. Thanks, Angie. That was actually exactly what I needed to hear.”

“I know.” She laughed, “now go talk to him. You know I’m rooting for you two.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, I hope you enjoyed. I meant to finish this yesterday, but I went on an impromptu snowboarding trip with my family, so I was a little bit preoccupied. Anyway, school's cancelled for me again tomorrow so I'll hopefully have something up then.


	8. Aftermath

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Aftermath of dinner.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning for complete and total cheesiness. Honestly. Also: I'm sorry it took a little bit longer to get this chapter up I was super distracted with stuff. Anyway, here you guys go.

”That was-”

“Yeah.” 

“I’m sorry. I was caught up in the argument and-”

“Alexander,” John hushed him. They were at the foot of the large bed in Alexander’s room. For nearly 15 minutes, they’d been sitting there in silence, neither daring to look at the other one. John had wanted to say something, anything, to break the awkward quiet. Alexander never shut up, so why was he being so timid? “It’s fine. Honestly.”

John turned to watch Alexander, who was staring at his feet. The small man had never looked so vulnerable. Taking a deep breath and holding on to the brief flash of courage for as long as he could, John reached his hand out and nudged Alexander’s hand with his, overlapping his ring and pinkie finger with Alexander’s just barely. 

He studied the man next to him, looking for any sign of discomfort. Alexander’s eyes were widened a little bit, and he was staring ahead. Maybe that was a mistake. Maybe John had read the situation totally wrong. This was it. John was actually going to die from embarrassment. If not that then at the very least he’d have to leave the country, change his nam-

Alexander turned his hand over and squeezed John’s hand.

Fireworks were going off in John’s stomach. Pots and pans were crashing in his head. His heart was pounding so hard he was scared it was just going to jump out of his chest.  _ Alexander Hamilton was holding his hand. Alexander Hamilton was holding his hand by his own free will, where there weren’t any people to pretend for. He was holding John’s hand for his own sake. _

“Are you going to say anything?” Alexander asked, barely a whisper. Alexander Hamilton, the man who was never quiet and infamous for his 46 tweet arguments, was nervous. John found comfort in the fact that the man who was a smooth little fucker was becoming nervous over something so small and childish as hand holding. 

“We’re holding hands.” John spoke softly. He had planned on saying ‘Jesus Christ would you please fucking kiss me like you did at the dinner table and prove to me that this all isn’t my imagination and it’s real?’ but that was all that came out. 

“Yes, John. We are.” Alexander confirmed, regaining some of his confidence. He gave John’s hand another squeeze to emphasize the point, which was the same as John getting pinched. It proved that this all wasn’t an elaborate dream. 

“We’re holding hands,” John repeated, “And nobody’s watching us. Which means that we’re not pretending to be dating for anyone right now. Which leads to the fact that either this is a platonic thing and I’m totally misreading the situation or you’re holding my hand because of some reason that I can’t quite figure out.”

“The second one.” Alexander said and every single one of John’s organs did a backflip and a spin at once. “The second one because I really care about you, John Laurens, and I want you to know just how much you mean to me and I can’t believe I’m saying these things because I’m not even sure if you’re reciprocating these feelings or it’s all just in my head.”

John raised his hand, the one not occupied with Alexander’s, and gently took hold of his chin. With great care, he turned Alexander’s head to face his and slowly leaned forwards until their lips were brushing. 

This kiss was the one that John had been picturing. It was slow and thoughtful, and he could feel Alexander breathing through his nose, almost like he was scared of something. At dinner, John didn’t have a chance to appreciate kissing Alexander Hamilton, but damn him to hell if he didn’t admit that Alexander was a phenomenal kisser. When he was taking his time, Alexander was careful with how he proceeded with kissing, and John was eternally grateful. It wasn’t anything more than innocent, with no tongue involved. Just two people, both of whom were a little bit frightened about what might happen next, and sharing a moment.

This kiss wasn’t fast paced like the last one had been, and both men took their time. When it eventually did end, neither moved their head far. They rested their foreheads against each other and tried to catch their breath.

“John?” He asked, pulling back. John would’ve protested if Alexander wasn’t looking at him with the most innocent expression he’d ever seen. His brown eyes were shining almost curiously, but not quite. It was somewhere halfway between there and the bedroom eyes John watched him gain and every time they were at a bar together and a pretty man or woman would catch his eye.

“Yes, Alexander?” He responded, moving his hand from Alexander’s cheek to the back of his neck, where his hands finally got to twist into those dark brown locks. And  _ Jesus almighty _ were they soft. He thought about running his hands through Alexander’s hair for hours on end, just laying on the floor with nothing to do.

“What are we doing?” And there were so many ways for John to take that. Was it a good thing that Alexander was asking him these questions or was it because this was a mistake. Damnit John hated that he had to keep second guessing himself like this. Like what he was doing was wrong. He’d spent his whole life thinking this was wrong because of how he was raised. Because of what his father had taught him. He was sick of it. He was tired of thinking that this -whatever this was- wasn’t right and he decided in that moment that all of that be damned because _this was his life_ _he was the person that made these decisions._

“All the right things.” He hissed and pulled Alexander in for another kiss. This one was more like the first one, more passionate and lively. John wanted to send a message with it. He wanted to very clearly understand that this is what he wanted. He wanted Alexander to know just how much he meant to John. He wanted the message to be displayed clear as day: Alexander Hamilton I love you and I never want to let go of this feeling.

 

**Note: These pictures are all I could think about when I could write the hand holding part.**

Part One

 Part Two

 Part Three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry this is shorter than usual but content over quantity, right? (I'm not really satisfied with how it ended but it's been forever since I updated so) These little nerds are too precious and I love the way the story is turning out. We'll get a little bit more morning fluff next chapter before shit starts happening again. 
> 
> On another note, 2004 hits, 177 kudos, 42 comments, and 18 bookmarks?!?! You guys that's crazy! Thank you for all of the wonderful comments I've been getting and everyone who gave a kudos!


	9. The Morning After.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fluff. Honestly, just a shit ton of fluff before we jump back into the actual story.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just call me Angelica Schuyler because I was never satisfied with this. Seriously. I rewrote the second half of this chapter TWICE before deciding to take a break. Then, lo and behold, I have a two-hour delay for school today so when I SHOULD be studying for a quiz during my first period, I whack out another 800 words to this thing and can rest at ease. Anyway, as the description said, I've just got a lot of fluff going on in this. Next chapter we'll do something plot-related.

John had never had ‘the morning after experience.’ He’d never gone through the awkward exchange between him and someone he’d had sex with, mainly because he’d never had sex. But he supposed this was the closest thing he’d ever had. 

Alexander and him had went to bed (after a shitton of kissing, something John  _ definitely _ wanted to continue doing. He couldn’t get enough of it.) next to each other in the most innocent way possible. Both fully clothed and smiling at each other like complete idiots. Alexander had spent what could’ve been minutes or hours counting John’s freckles, which he normally would’ve hated but this was Alexander and they just kissed and he kind of felt high.

John didn’t remember falling asleep. All he remembered was facing Alexander until both of them eventually drifted off. The last thing he could recall was Alexander smiling and whispering something to him that he couldn’t remember.

He was the first to wake up. He was always the first one to wake up. On the nights that he did get more than two hours of sleep (which were few and far between) were important to John that Alexander stay asleep as long as possible because it really did matter to him that Alexander was taking care of himself. He’d told John countless times that the reason he was so hard on himself just to prove that he actually belonged where he planned on going. No matter how many times he told him that, though, John still tried to keep him asleep as long as he could. With that thought in mind and a stupid smile on his face, John carefully climbed out of the bed, grateful for the carpeted floor softening his steps. 

He walked slowly to his bag, which still lay abandoned on the floor from when they first got there, and dug around it for his phone. When he finally found it (at the very bottom of the duffle, of course) he was disappointed to find that it was on 32% battery, then reminded himself that the reason he didn’t plug it in last night was because he was  _ making out with Alexander Hamilton. _

The first thing he thought to do was to open the message app, clicking on the person at the very top of the list. 

**To: ANGELica**

**You’ll never guess what happened last night.**

**From: ANGELica**

**John, please don’t tell me you killed somebody.**

**To: ANGELica**

**What? No.**

**From: ANGELica**

**Okay. Then what’s so important that you had to text me at seven in the morning on break to tell me?**

**To: ANGELica**

**Alexander and I KISSED.**

**From: ANGELica**

**Wait seriously? Oh my god John I’m so happy for you! It’s about time!**

**From: ANGELica**

**I gotta go, Peggy’s about to burn the kitchen down, but we are definitely talking about this later.**

John grinned and moved to sit in the chair in the corner of the room next to a deep brown desk. It was crowded with papers upon papers. There were broken pencils littering the surface, all either no longer than an inch or snapped in half. The papers that were scattered on the desktop were all notebook pages, filled with written word. John recognized Alexander's nearly unreadable chicken scratch, which gave his work the appearance that he was just trying to get his words out as fast as he could. John supposed that was, in fact, the case with Alexander. 

The chair at the desk was comfortable and, John suspected, expensive. It looked old, or at the very least well used. The brown leather on it was worn, and the cracks were clearly visible. It made John smile just looking at the evidence of Alexander Hamilton in the room. 

“John?” A groggy voice came from the bed. He looked up to see Alexander sitting up, his hair an absolute wreck. “What time is it?”

“I don’t know, around seven?” He guessed, basing it off of what Angelica’s text. “Why? Is there somewhere you need to be?” It was supposed to be a joke, but it came out a little flat. He was worried, despite what he told himself, the Alexander had seen last night as a mistake. Like John was subpar for whatever it is they would hopefully become. 

“No,” He said and got up from the bed, moving over to behind the chair and draped his arms around John’s shoulders, “I just wanted to know how long we had until someone came to interrupt our morning.” And every single one of John’s worries melted away.

“Well,” John stood and turned to face face Alexander, wrapping his own arms around his neck, “we could do that.  _ Or, _ and just hear me out now, we could down to the kitchen and make a decent breakfast. After that we could watch some stupid Saturday morning cartoons and just not do anything productive all day.”

He pressed a quick kiss to John’s lips, which made John’s heart flutter like he was a kid. “You had me the moment you put food in your argument.” 

 

The kitchen wasn’t a wreck, which surprised John considering the huge meal that had been cooked last night. If anything, it was pretty damn clean. Of course, that was before Alexander got his hands on the eggs. 

Three yolks on the counter and some playful argument later, a half over-cooked sunny side up egg was sitting on a plate in Alexander Hamilton’s lap. John had simply settled for a bagel, afraid that Alexander would actually burn the house down if he attempted to make some eggs. 

The living room was gigantic. The three couches in the room were all pushed up against the turquoise walls, creating a large space in the center. Toys littered the ground, little action figures of superheroes and trucks. There was also a stack of books on the mantel, above the large fireplace. Alexander had showed John this room while taking him on the ‘tour’ of the house, but they’d moved on so quickly that John barely had time to register all of the beauty of the room. 

“I’m glad that this happened.” John sighed, only half paying attention to the cartoon playing on the television. (Something about a tomcat?) He didn’t care in the slightest. The only thing he was interested in at the moment was Alexander’s hand calmly resting on his. It . . . It didn’t feel very different from what they had been just yesterday, and yet it was also a totally new world. How was that even possible? For someone to make no difference, but also have the biggest impact in your life. 

“Alex!” A shout -which honestly sounded more like a war cry- came as Samuel came barreling into the room as fast as his little five-year-old legs could carry him, still wearing his pajamas. “Hide me! Hide me! ‘Liza, Herles, and me are playing hide ‘n seek! Herles is trying to find me!” 

“Isn’t it a little bit early to be playing hide and seek?” Alexander laughed, but picked Samuel up none the less. The latter cried with joy as Alexander swung him around in the air, while John was left on the couch to laugh. “Now where should you hide?”

“Couch! Couch!” Samuel chanted and Alexander set him down on the couch next to him and John’s. With an over exaggerated “Ssshhh!” Samuel pulled the throw pillows around him and directed Alexander to tug the blanket over the pile. “He’s never going to find me!” Samuel laughed, even though John could clearly see the outline of the child through the blanket.

With a chuckle, Alexander returned to the couch, next to John. It took all of 30 seconds for Hercules and Eliza to come into the living room in search of Samuel. It looked like everyone was still in their pajamas, with Hercules in sweats and Eliza in comfy shorts and a t-shirt. They were holding hands happily, and John smiled at Eliza yawning due to the early hour.

Hercules cast a glance at John and Alexander, sitting side by side and holding hands, and gave them a thumbs up and a cheesy grin. Eliza had a knowing look and a repressed smile, which John mentally noted to ask her about later today. 

“Oh no!” Hercules sighed dramatically, looking directly at the pile of pillows and blankets where Samuel was hiding. “See Eliza? I told you that Samuel was the best hider ever! We’re never going to be able to find him!” There was a childish giggle from Samuel’s direction.

“You’re right Hercules.” She said and took a seat on the same couch as John and Alexander. Hercules was soon to follow. “I guess since Sam’s hiding we’ll just eat all of his cookies from the pantry . . .” 

You would not believe how fast the blanket was thrown back and Samuel sprinted over to where Eliza and Hercules were sitting. “No!” He shouted, and John was worried that he would actually start crying. He wasn’t used to dealing with small children. He only had two siblings, Mary and Henry Jr. Mary was only two years younger than him, and Henry Jr. was born during his last year of high school. So he’d never really had the experience of being the way-more-mature one or anything like that. Honestly, he didn’t think he could handle taking care of a little kid.

“She was just kidding, Sammy.” Hercules laughed and pulled Samuel onto his lap. “Why don’t we watch some cartoons to make it up for you? I’ll make you some breakfast and we’ll play some more hide and seek later, when it’s warm enough to go outside.”

“Play outside!” Samuel cheered before becoming fascinated with the cartoons playing before him.

“I’m glad this happened, too.” Alexander whispered into his ear before leaning on John.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun facts:
> 
> 1) John Laurens actually had four siblings: Mary, Martha, James, and Henry Jr. 
> 
> 2) The living room was roughly based on an actual room in the Washington House at Mount Vernon. The room I based it on is called the 'New Room' because it was the last addition to the house ever made. The walls were actually a turquoise color, and the reason it was so empty was because it was used as a party room.
> 
> Yeah, I bet you didn't think that this story would also be educational. I know I didn't. I can't wait for someone to stumble onto my search history and just go 'why the fuck do you need to know how many siblings some dead white guy had?'
> 
> As usual, I hope you enjoyed and I'm sorry for the delay in this chapter. I was just going through writers block. I would love to say that I'll be better, but school is (finally) opening back up after Snowmaggedon so I don't now, guys. I promise that I'll try my absolute hardest to get it up soon, though.


	10. Picnic

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Washingtons use a picnic as a perfect way to abuse the perfect weather.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry this took forever to get up. School just started up in my district after Snowmaggedon, and that really threw me off. Not to mention how much trouble I was having with this particular chapter. Anyway, I hope you all enjoy.

John had never had such a relaxing Spring Break. Every year prior was spent at the Laurens’ home in South Carolina. He supposed that it had its perks. He loved seeing Mary every chance he got, and it was always a bit of a relief to be in a familiar setting. But being back there turned every single one of John’s fears up to the tenth power. Like he’d slip up once and his parents would know that he was gay and never speak to him again.

Well, now he didn’t need to worry about that anymore, didn’t he? 

He’d expected to hear something from  _ someone _ at this point. Sure, his father was almost as stubborn as John, but his mother was quite the opposite. He had been waiting for her to give him a quick call, or maybe just a text. Anything that would let him know that they weren’t severing all ties with him because he’d tried to open up about himself for once. At the very least, he had thought that maybe Mary would tell him something. They’d always been fairly close as far as siblings were concerned. They’d shared almost everything. She’d told him the minute she’d gotten her first boyfriend, and she was the first to know when he’d been accepted to college.

He’d hoped that maybe there would be some interaction, at least over social media. A like on Instagram, a retweet on Twitter. Anything that would subtly let him know that she was still part of his life. 

That’s what visits to South Carolina brought: worry and pain and fear.

The Washington house was the exact opposite. Martha and George were kind, caring people. They genuinely loved their children, John could see it in their eyes. Every time Eliza gave a smile or Theodosia shared one of her ideas their eyes lit up. It was as if they were surprised every time they realized just how wonderful each of their children were. 

They were taking advantage of the wonderful weather by having a picnic on the large lawn in front of the actual house. Theodosia was sitting under a tree, book propped up on her knee; George, Samuel, and Eliza were sitting on one of the many blankets, enjoying some of the food they’d brought out with them; Martha was teaching Hercules how to take care of the flowers in her garden; and Alexander and John were laying on another one of the blankets, Alexander’s head resting on John’s stomach. 

“I can feel you thinking.” Alexander said, eyes still closed and his hands on his stomach. “So why don’t you stop brooding and tell me what’s wrong.” It wasn’t a suggestion, it was a command. Alexander wasn’t asking for John to open up, he was telling him to. He did this all the time, and John wasn’t sure if it was intentional or not. 

“I was just thinking about my family.” John sighed, watching the fluffy white clouds above him. As a kid, he’d loved cloud watching. Finding shapes among the aimless blobs were one of the things he’d lived for at a young age. “I’m kind of in a fight with them right now. Usually I go there for Spring Break, you know that, but this year they told me I shouldn’t come. And, in retrospect, that was a good thing. Because if that hadn’t done anything, this -whatever this is- would’ve never happened. But I’m still worried because none of them will return my texts and-”

“Don’t think about it, John.” Alexander rolled over and leaned on his forearms to face him, “I know that sounds totally hypocritical, considering where we are right now, but seriously. You’re wonderful and precious and perfect. I don’t know what you guys are fighting about, but it’s nothing to lose sleep over. Take me word for it, I’m the king of losing sleep. It’ll blow over, you’ll make up with your family, and everyone lives happily ever after. End of story.”

“Happy endings are always nice.” John sighed. The few times he had been charged with watching Mary in her younger years, she’d loved listening to him read her fairy tales. She’d always told him that when she grew up she was going to be a princess. In a way, she’d accomplished that goal. A few months ago, before they’d stopped talking entirely, she’d told him that she’d been elected Homecoming Queen. 

“Bonjour,” Lafayette’s voice came as they flounced over and took a seat next to John, “‘ow are you two  _ amoureux _ doing?” They took off the sunglasses they’d been wearing, folding them and setting them next to John’s head. 

“Well.” John said, sitting up entirely. “Why do you ask?”

“Samuel wanted Alexander to come join us as we play a few rounds of -what is it the children call the game?- ‘ide and seek. He says that you ‘elped ‘im with and earlier game against ‘ercules and Eliza and wants you to ‘elp again.”

Alexander looked at John, almost as if he were asking permission, and John shrugged nonchalantly. “It’s not like I’m going to keep you from playing with your little brother. I’ll be here whenever you’re done.”

Alexander beamed, gave John’s hand a squeeze, and stood with Lafayette -who took their sunglasses- and wandered over to Samuel who literally jumped with joy. The three of them weren’t gone for more than a minute before John felt a presence next to him. When he looked to see who it was, he was pleasantly surprised to see Eliza sitting next to him, her large sun hat shadowing her face from the harsh sun. 

“Sandwich?” She asked, holding out a paper plate with a handful of finger food items on it. How did the Washington’s have enough food to fully supply a picnic, feed such a large family daily, and make their extravagant meal last night?

“If you don’t mind.” He smiled and grabbed the food. “Did you come over to say hi, or are you just trying to get rid of the food?” He laughed and took a bite.  _ God _ , did it taste amazing. 

“I wanted to chat!” She laughed and leaned onto one of her hands, finger tapping on the blanket almost impatiently, “it’s been forever since just you and I got a chance to talk. It’s been -what?- months since we’d last had lunch together! I was hoping for a chance to catch up.”

“Okay.” John smiled. Eliza was always easy to talk to, especially just about little, meaningless things. While he loved Angelica, she had a 0 bullshit policy, so they rarely got to talk about little things like gossip or how nice the weather had been for the past week. “How are you, Eliza Washington? Any news?”

With a deep breath and an ear-to-ear grin she nodded. This must’ve been what she’d had the intention to tell him in the first place, whatever it was. She was positively bursting at the seams with excitement. 

“Okay John, I’ve got a secret. And you’ve got to promise that you’ll keep your mouth shut. Especially to Alex! That man’s mouth runs like he’s afraid he’s running out of time. There’s no way that he’s going to be able to keep this quiet.”

John made an X over his heart, like he remembered doing in middle school. “I promise I won’t say a word to him, now will you just tell me what you’re so excited about, ‘Liza?”

With a huff, she reached into her small blue bag and produced a little box in her hand. Opening it, she saw a silver band inside, cushioned between green velvet, with a small diamond at the very top of it. John had to suppress a cry of joy because  _ Yes! Yes! Two of his favorite people in the entire world were going to be  _ married _! _

“Eliza Washington!” He whispered, because he was afraid if he tried to talk normally he’d end up shouting, “Are you going to propose to Hercules?” She nodded vigorously, snapping the box shut and placing it back in her bag before Hercules had a chance to see it from the garden. “When is this happening?”

“I’ve got it all planned out!” She said excitedly, in the same whisper John was using, “I’m going to ask him when we all go to that restaurant tomorrow night. I’ve already told Mom and Dad, that’s why they planned the dinner in the first place. Angelica and Peggy know, too. They went ring shopping with me and helped me pick out what I’m going to wear.”

“Eliza, I’m so happy for you.” John grinned and threw his arms around her. “You and Hercules are wonderful together. You guys are really going to be happy together, I guarantee it.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I've got mixed feelings about this story. Because, on one hand, it's very adorable and I've gotten nothing but love from you guys about it. But on the other hand, I feel like I rushed into the Alexander/ John relationship. IDK. Anyway, I'm probably gonna put one, maybe two more chapters up to finish it off.


	11. Reunion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Some unexpected guests make an appearance.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is really short, just under 1,000 words, and I usually have it at a minimum of 1,200. But I didn't have much time to write yesterday or this morning and I'm going to a party tonight. I did, however, want to get something up before tomorrow because I won't be able to write at all this week. (Tech week for the show I'm in.) So I'm sorry that it's short, but it's something, right?
> 
> As a side note, Peggy is Agender but allows themselves to be called 'sister.'

John was a wreck. But in the absolute best way possible. After last night’s catastrophe, he was nervous to see just what was in store for the bonfire Lafayette had organized. As he should’ve expected, no expense seemed to be spared. The Washington’s backyard, just like the rest of their property, was enormous. An entire game of football, with complete teams, could probably be played in the lawn. The back of the house had a large porch, which held a swinging bench, a few rocking chairs, and two glass tables. The patio beneath it was the home of a fairly large fire pit -already crackling with life when he and Alexander came out- and logs surrounding it. The rest of the yard had a couple of blankets set up for stargazing, and fairy lights in the trees. Trees that seemed to contain fruit. 

“Are those fruit trees?” John asked, turning to face Alexander fas they exited the glass doors separating the living room and the porch. 

“Yeah,” Alexander nodded, “Apple trees mostly, a few peach trees here and there. According to Martha there used to be a whole orchard of cherry trees that George’s great-something or other grandfather chopped down. Honestly, I think that’s bullshit. But whatever.”

“Hello Alexander, hello John.” a familiar voice said from behind them and John wanted to cry out with joy because this was an unexpected but welcome surprise.

“Angelica!” John exclaimed and turned around to hug the woman. With a laugh, she returned the favor.

“And Peggy!” A defensive voice whined from behind her. John let go of Angelica to wave at her sibling, who was wearing their signature red lipstick and a yellow blouse. 

“What are you two doing here?” Alexander asked, equally joyful as he stepped forward and slid his hand into John’s. Such a little thing made John’s heart flutter, which just reminded them how new this was, whatever  _ this _ was. Peggy seemed to notice the abnormality of the gesture too because they sent John a suggestive wink.

“Martha and George invited us.” The oldest Schuyler smirked, gesturing behind John to where Martha and George sat on one of the blankets in the yard, Phillip being held up by both of them as the infant attempted to make his first step.

Alexander had taken John to see his littlest brother earlier that day, after their picnic had ended. They’d crept into the baby’s room, only to see a snoring Philip in his crib. Alexander, ever one for action, gently nudged his brother, who woke up with a soft gurgle. The moment the baby’s eyes were open there was a soft giggle that filled the room and made John smile.

“He looks like you.” Alexander had whispered and offered a finger to Philip, the baby barely able to hold as much in his small hands. “He has your eyes. And your smile.” 

“I don’t see it.” John’d shrugged, instead choosing to focus on Alexander alive with joy at the presence of his little brother than to focus on said little brother. They’d stayed in there for a while, talking softly while Philip giggled in the way that babies do. 

“What do you mean they invited you?” Alexander questioned, oblivious as always to proper social conduct. 

“Eliza’s doing something and she’s going to need her sisters.” John rolled his eyes at the title. Technically, the Schuyler’s and Eliza weren’t related. They had just been the best of friends since junior year of high school. 

“What something would this be?” Alexander inquired. Before Angelica had a chance to reply with a sarcastic comment, the ever joyful voice of Eliza rang from behind them. Sure enough, Eliza was coming through the living room, sprinting at full speed to meet the Schuylers. Both Angelica and Peggy turned and rushed to join Eliza, sharing a massive hug in the middle of the living room. Hercules was following close behind Eliza with Samuel hoisted onto his hip.

“Aunt Angie!” Samuel cheered when he saw the faces of the new visitors, “Peggy!” John smiled at the fact that Samuel, a five year old, was using proper pronouns when most people who Peggy knew hadn’t even bothered to ask them in the first place.

“Hey, big guy!” Peggy beamed and moved to take Samuel from Hercules, giving him a big hug. “I haven’t seen you in forever! Did you ever finish fighting all of those pirates?” Samuel grinned and nodded excitedly before launching into a long explanation on how he was fighting aliens on another planet.

“Angelica, it’s so good to see you again.” Hercules waved kindly at the woman before turning to join in the conversation with Peggy and Samuel. 

“Angie what are you and Peg doing here?” Eliza grinned, giddy with all that was happening. “I thought you two were working on that thing for school. And then wasn’t Barker trying to come to visit you over break-”

“Okay, so maybe I lied a little about why we couldn’t come here in the first place. But Peggy and I really did need to do that essay for English. Besides, it was totally worth it to see your face when you noticed that we were here.”

“Ugh, I’ve been a nervous wreck for the past few days.” Eliza laughed nervously and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. Alexander gave John a questioning glance, asking what she was talking about. John mouthed back  _ I’ll tell you later. _ He didn’t want to interrupt the reunion. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, I hope you enjoyed. I'm sorry for the unsatisfactory ending, but I thought the chapter was short and cute. Next chapter we'll probably get a little more fluff as well as some John and Eliza bro moments. Until next chapter.


	12. I love you

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> John and Alexander are stargazing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's midnight and I really should be sleeping but it's also Valentine's Day, so I wanted to post something. And I'm so sorry that I haven't really posted much of anything recently, but tech week has been crazy for me. I just had my first show last night and it went really well, in case anyone was wondering. Anyway, I hope you all enjoy my homosexual garbage children.

John could get used to this. He  _ hoped _ this lasted long enough for him to get used to. It was just over half an hour since George and Martha had retired to their room, taking Philip and Samuel with them. Theodosia was soon to follow, claiming that she wanted to have some time to actually sleep. Ten minutes had passed since Eliza, Hercules, Lafayette, and the Schuylers had retreated to their own rooms. That left Alexander and John laying down on a blanket and watching the stars. It wasn’t like the night sky of the city. Back there, you couldn’t see past your street light. But from where John was watching, it looked like the amount of stars in the sky had tripled in numbers since he’d last thought to look.

“It’s nothing like the Caribbean.” Alexander sighed offhandedly when John thought to mention it. “You wouldn’t understand unless you’ve been there, but there’s so many stars in the sky. It doesn’t look anything like it does here. It’s almost like we’re on an entirely different planet. Like we’re not in the same place in the galaxy anymore.”

That was how John felt. Not necessarily about the stars, he’d never been to the Caribbean so he had nothing to compare. But the other world thing. He understood that. Ever since that night when Alexander and him had kissed, he’d felt like the entire world had turned upside down. It felt like everything in his life was changing really suddenly, and he had no control over it. 

“Hey, talk to me?” Alexander asked quietly. They were laying down next to each other, in the most cliche of ways. John gave Alexander’s hand a squeeze, just to remind himself that _yes,_ _he really is there. It’s not all just fantastic delusion._

“It’s all so surreal.” John said after a moment of thought. “I don’t think there’s a better word for it. It feels like this massive dream that I’m having and any moment now I’m going to wake up and it’s all going to be gone. Every single bit of it.”

“John, look at me.” Alexander commanded and rolled onto his side to face John. The latter followed Alexander’s example and propped himself up on a forearm. “I’m here.  _ We’re _ here. This is real. The realest thing that’s happened to you. I guarantee that to you. Every single insane thing that happened to us in the past few whirlwind of days it real. Tomorrow you’re going to wake up, and I’m still going to be there.”

John kissed Alexander then. It was slow and careful. He was still unsure about it, because it was all a new experience. Alexander was practiced. He knew exactly what to say to make whomever he was going after turn to putty in his hands that he could bend and mold however he pleased. John had no such experience. He was new to the whole ‘relationship’ thing, and he could only go off of what his friends had shared with him and what he’d seen in movies. In short, there were a sparse number of highly exaggerated facts that he had at his disposable, and not a single one of them gave him the slightest help with this. 

“John Laurens?” Alexander asked, carefully pulling his face away from John’s. He had the most innocent look in his eyes, which was quite a feat considering his personality. It was the expression of a small child who’d just gotten their first teddy bear or just looked at the night sky for the first time. It was the look of someone who had something and never wanted to share it with anyone else ever again.

“Yes, Alexander?” John asked and, for once in his life, he wasn’t scared. Every single moment of his life, the fear of something was always lingering in the back of his mind. When he’d realized he was gay, he’d been scared of his family’s disapproval. When he’d finally come out to them, he began to worry that they’d never have the same relationship they once did. When Alexander had asked him to pretend to be his boyfriend, he’d been worried to death that it would lead to the end of their friendship in one way or another. But, looking into Alexander’s eye which were so preciously innocent, John didn’t feel the fear that had accompanied him his entire life. It was like living with a three ton weight on his back for all of his life, only to have it lifted off a moment ago.

“I think I might love you. Like, in more than a friend way.” 

John wanted to laugh.

“Well, at this point, I would hope you liked me in a more than friends way, Alexander.”

“No, you don’t get it.” Alexander sighed and sat up. “I might love you. Like  _ love _ you. John you don’t seem to realize how terrifying this is for me. Everyone who I’ve loved is dead. I know, that sounds straight out of Harry Potter, but it’s true. My mom died when I was 12, 12 John! That’s a really fucking young age to lose your only parent. And my cousin, the one I was living with before being tossed into the foster system, committed suicide. John I haven’t loved anyone since. I like people, I like people a lot. I really like Martha and George and Eliza and Philip and Lafayette and Hercules and all of them, but I can’t love them. That’s too much to worry about. But then you come along and you’re perfect, John. You’re so stupidly perfect. And I just can’t help but start falling in love with you bit by bit until I’m so invested in you that I can’t bear the thought of my life without you in it. Do you understand this, John? You’re the first person I’ve ever been comfortable enough with to love. This is the biggest deal for me because I’m so scared that this isn’t going to end well because it never does. There’s never a happy ending.”

John pulled him closer, enveloping him into a hug. “There is this time.” John promised quietly, looking again at the stars. “Every single star in the sky is another time I promise not to leave. Not ever. I’ll say it a million times if that’s what it takes for you to know that I’m not leaving, Alexander. I’m not going anywhere anytime soon. You’ll never be alone again. I promise you that.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As always, I hope you enjoyed. I love hearing your thoughts on these, and I hope that I can get the next chapter up soon.


	13. Calm down, Eliza

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eliza's freaking out a little.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is short. Like, really short. But I wanted to post something because, and this sounds bad, but I want to wrap up this story as soon as I can. One of you guys gave me an awesome idea for a sequel and I want to get started on that, but if I don't finish this I never will and none of you deserve that. Anyway, I'm literally starting the next (and final) chapter as soon as this is posted, so it shouldn't be long until I've got this all done.

Eliza was a mess. Not a complete mess, but a mess none the less. John was sitting in her room next to Angelica, watching her freak out. It was quite the opposite of Alexander’s. Where his had papers scattered all over the place and looked a little bit like a hurricane had just blown through, Eliza’s was perfect in every single way. The only thing that made it seem as if it weren’t straight out of a Pottery Barn magazine was the fact that, in the farthest corner, was a small table dedicated entirely to candels. She had two of the burning lights lit on opposite sides of the room, which made the room smell pleasantly like apple cider and marshmallows. There had to have been at least 30 on her candle table, though. Each one of them a different scent.

John was seated on her bed, which was neatly made and had few more pillows than necessary. Hercules had been sleeping in there with her for the past few nights, but he’d run to the grocery store with Alexander, Samuel, Peggy, and Martha to pick up some food, though John thought they were perfectly stocked as it was.

“John, Angie, I’m scared.” She said. She was pacing again. It seemed to be a common thing with her and Alexander. Whenever they were nervous, they started pacing. “I mean, I know I have no reason to be because I love Hercules and he loves me but they say that 50 percent of couples divorce. And we’re so young. Maybe I should wait a few years. But then if I wait what if something happens and I don’t get to propose. I can’t find a way where this all works-”

“Eliza, calm down.” Angelica stands and grabs Eliza, stopping the pacing. “You two are beautiful together. You don’t seem to see it, but that boy looks at you like you’ve hung the moon and stars in the night sky. There’s no way this will end in flames. And, if for some reason it does, I  _ promise _ to ruin all of his chances with anyone else ever again.”

Eliza laughed nervously, shaking some of the tension off. “You’re right. You’re right! Hercules and I are madly and love. We’ll be just fine.” 

“There you go.” John laughed and stood to join the two girls. “Honestly, you two are so perfect together, it makes me sick. You guys are going to be the best husband and wife ever. It’s all going to be fine.”

“What would I do without you two!” Eliza enveloped the two of them in a massive hug. “Seriously, I think I would just spiral out of control into a huge abyss of self doubt. You guys make my world.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Told you it was short.


	14. Helpless

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The final chapter

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh SNAP! What's that? Don't touch me I'm to hot. YES! Do you see this? My second chapter of the day, nay, of the hour! Ugh, I'm so excited about this. I love the way it ends. Everyone's in love and it's all wonderful.

This was it. John was freaking out, and he wasn’t even the one proposing. He was in the lone suit he’d brought with him on the trip. A simple thing with a black jacket and dress pants and a white dress shirt. Alexander was dressed in a similar manner, though with a dark gray jacket instead. It took all of his willpower not to just say ‘fuck it’ and jump on the man the second he’d seen him in full suit.

They were riding in Alexander’s car again, with Alex behind the wheel because John had quite literally no idea how to get to the restaurant. It felt so similar to just a few days before, only everything was different. Instead of awkward silence, the two of them were comfortably holding each other’s hand on and sharing idle chatter. The rest of the Washingtons, Hercules, and the Schuylers were meeting them at the restaurant. Angelica, Eliza, and Peggy were driving together in the Schuyler’s car, Hercules had offered to give Lafayette a ride, and Martha and George were shuttling Theodosia. They’d hired a babysitter for Samuel and Philip, a family friend who lived down the road from them named George Eacker.

When they finally arrived, John was astounded. The Schuylers and Eliza were already there, all looking as stunning as ever. Eliza was in a knee length blue dress that John remembered Hercules talking about giving to her for her birthday, which John found very adorable. Angelica was in a floor length evening gown with a slit that exposed her right leg, effortlessly beautiful as always. And Peggy was happily swishing the skirt of their yellow two piece back and forth, watching it fly out around them. 

“You all look lovely.” John smiled as he and Alexander walked across the small parking lot to meet them, arm in arm.

“And you both look very handsome.” Angelica smiled, sneaking John a wink when Alexander wasn’t looking. 

Lafayette and Hercules were the next to arrive. Lafayette was grinning in their purple tuxedo and continued telling Hercules whatever it was they’d been saying before exiting the car. Hercules broke out into a grin the moment he saw Eliza, and John couldn’t help but notice the fact that his navy jacket matched hers perfectly, as if they’d planned it. Abandoning conversation with Lafayette -who looked clearly miffed- he jogged across the parking lot to give Eliza a hug.

“Their love makes me sick to my stomach, it’s so sweet.” Alexander whispered to John, intertwining their hands once again. “Mostly because it should be  _ me _ doing the cliche run-across-the-parking-lot-to-meet-your-significant-other bit with  _ you _ .”

“We have all the time in the world.” John promised, pressing a quick kiss to Alexander’s temples to exaggerate his point. “If it’s what you want, we’ll reenact the entirety of The Notebook to appease your completely cliche rom-com lover side.”

“I might just take you up on that.” Alexander laughed and waved as the final car pulled up. Theodosia, ever the huge fucking nerd, had a large book in her hands and was barely paying attention as she crossed the street. John could see the horror in Martha’s eyes, though she didn’t say anything.

“Alright, everyone’s here.” Angelica clapped to get everyone’s attention. “Let’s go get our table.”

 

Some time during the main course, when everything had calmed down a little bit Angelica, who was sitting one one side of John -Alexander on the other- tapped Eliza on the leg. Eliza shot her a worried look, to which she responded with a hurried nod and a quiet  _ you’ve got this, ‘Liza. _

Taking a deep breath, Eliza stood up and drew the attention of everyone at the table to her. John saw Peggy give a small clap almost underneath the table. Eliza looked terrified. Her eyes are wide and the black box that’s held just out of Hercules’ view is gripped as if her life depended on it.

“Um, I’d just like to start by saying that I’m really glad that all of you are here. It makes this

easier, doing this when I’m surrounded by the people I love.” Inhaling quickly, she bends down so that she’s on her knee, ring box exposed and open. Other people in the restaurant were beginning to stare, and it seemed like the whole world was holding it’s breath for her.

Murmurs at the table from Hercules, Lafayette, and Alexander. Courses of “Is that what I think it is?”, “Mon Dieu!”, and “Eliza are you serious? Is this seriously happening right now?” Sprouted up and John looked back to grin at Alexander, with his jaw was dropped on the floor. When Alexander did snap out of it, John sent him a look that promised  _ one day, Alexander. One day soon. _

“Hercules,” Eliza said, “I love you. God, I’ve loved you for the longest time. Every time I see you I just feel helpless. I still remember that night we first met, like it was yesterday. We were at that Christmas party two years ago, hadn’t even seen each other before, and you walk in and my heart just explodes. And so, of course, I’m terrified when I see Angelica over there talking to you,” a quiet laugh from a couple people, “but then she’s walking you over to me and I just wanted to cry with joy. And then not even a week later we’re talking every single night until three in the morning. I’ve been waiting for so long to do this Hercules, because I love you  _ so much _ . And I think that my life wouldn’t be complete without you in it. So, Hercules Mulligan, will you do me the tremendous honor of becoming my husband?”

“Is that even a question?” He asked, “Yes! ‘Liza yes! A thousand times, yes!” He stands up from his seat, pulling her up with him, and pressing a lingering kiss to her lips, the ring completely forgotten where she set it on the table.

There were cheers all around, and John saw the people at surrounding tables clapping, some even wiping a tear or two from their eyes. He feels a tug on his jacket and turns to see Alexander standing and nodding to an exit. Careful not to ruin their moment, John follows him out the door.

“Wasn’t that something?” Alexander asked, brown eyes glittering from the full moon. John had always loved his eyes. He loved the proof of Alexander in them, the way you could see the wheels spinning behind them, the slight bags of sleeplessness underneath them, the way they glittered every single time he got a new idea. 

“They’re perfect.” John nodded. “ _ You’re _ perfect.” He stepped forwards, closing the distance between them. It might just be the feeling of love in the air or the rush of adrenaline from just watching Eliza propose, but John was feeling bold. He was feeling enamoured. 

“And, one day, that’s going to be us.” Alexander promised as he wrapped his arms around John’s waist. “I know that it sounds sudden, considering that we’ve only been dating for -what?- three days now? But I love you, John Laurens. I feel like I know you better than I know my own mind. I’ve never once met anyone as trusting or as kind. Some day and hopefully soon, I hope to be able to proudly call you my husband, Mr. John Hamilton-Laurens.”

It sounded perfect, hearing his name said that way. It made him excited for the future and everything it had in store for the two of them. But, for that one moment, he just wanted to live  _ then _ . “I love you, Alexander Hamilton. And every time I look at you, I feel absolutely, positively helpless.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's it, folks. As always, I hope you enjoyed this mess of a fanfiction. For those of you that have been with me since the beginning, thank you so much for sticking around to see how this pans out. I promise, I will be posting my sequel sometime in the immediate future. It has yet to be named, but it will be from Alexander's point of view, so expect WAY MORE of his personal thoughts, and it will be almost the opposite of this fic. That's right, they're going to meet the Laurens family. Thank you so much for reading, and I hope to see you all soon.


End file.
